Johnny Tubesteak's Periodically Updated Discourse

I would love to tell you some poop jokes today, but instead I need to congratulate Amy M. for winning last week’s Tubesteak Challenge!  Her name was randomly drawn from among the thousands of respondents with all correct answers.  As promised, she wins an original, mediocre song, written and recorded by the greatest artist of our generation:  me.  Luckily, the greatest artist of our generation has no friends and can, thus, spend his time recording meaningless songs.

So, without further a-doo-doo:

Amy, You Won